This is in response to several questions that I have received on my no dating policy. First of all-I do not believe in dating. This has raised many questions, but here are my basic reasons.
First of all, the American idea of dating is not really based on true love and respect. To often it is more about the physical aspect of the relationship rather than anything else. Another reason is that more good friendships are ruined when people decide to date than I would care to think of. I see so many people hurt everyday because something went wrong with their relationship. The whole concept that dating teaches is that "we'll try this relationship, but if things don't work out, or if one of us gets uncomfortable for any reason, it's done." This fail and bail mentality just sets you up for failure in the future, because you never really learn to work through things.
Also, on high school dating, what is the point of dating when you almost for sure will not end up marrying the other person. To those who say that you need experience in relationships, I say that the hormone and emotion laden high school years aren't exactly the best time in the world to learn.
The other thing which I really wish I didn't have to mention is the physical/sexual side of many dating relationships. So many people who never intended to lose their virginity do in dating relationships today.
So you may ask, how will you find a wife. Well, in comes the concept of courting. This is something that I heard several years ago and I have never forgotten.
The entire concept is based not on who you think is the best person for you, but who is the person who will fulfill God's destiny for you. If you think that you may have found the person that God wants you to marry, then you pray about it. You then go to the girl and ask her to pray about it. If it is something that you both feel like God wants you to pursue, then you go to the girls father, or spiritual leader if her father is not saved and ask him to pray about it.
You then get to know one another not by spending time on quiet, you and me only dates, but by spending time with each others families. You spend time in groups and get to know how you each act around those you know closest, and found out what they think of you.
This entire process is about finding God's person for you and establishing a life long relationship.
I know this is probably not the best of explanations, but this is how I see it. If you have any questions or clarifications, let me know.
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5 comments:
Great post, Daniel. I think you've got a pretty good handle on things. I know it's not easy and there is lots of pressure. But you're standing strong. We're proud of you!
Thanks for the info on Courting so quickly Daniel. I know where you are coming from and actually, my idea of what dating should be is not much off of the explanation you gave. I don't want to casual date if and when I do find someone. I would much rather only date those whom I wish to marry someday if it is God's will. In the end I think that is the better way to go, courting that is. Happy 2-Hour-Delay to you too!
Your Friend,
KK
Good answer DA! I really admire you and your siblings and hope that Uncle Nathan and I do as well with your little cousins as you Mom and Dad did with you guys.
well said piano boy!! your wife is one blessed lady for sure!
I see where you're coming from, but I have to disagree (at least alot of the time). Some relationships are too early, in fact most are, but the relationships that truly fail and result in pain come from people who don't know how to treat others and always put themselves first. These people are the ones who only care about their own satisfaction and are willing to go against both moral and legal law to get what they want. It is important for you to realize that not all people are like that, the impression you're getting is coming primarily from our school (which is terrible). Our school has a higher concentration of "evil" than most other private schools, but that doesn't mean that there is no good there (ahh I'm being optimistic). It just means that the good people got stuck in a bad situation.
-Storm-
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